You Found Me
by Centa0592
Summary: Stiles runs away from his abusive home and is found by a stranger and his sister, Derek and Laura Hale, in New York. or The one where Laura thinks this kid, Stiles, can help Derek get back in touch with his human side but can Stiles save Derek before Derek ruins Stiles? *Will be a Pornstar AU with drugs* TW Prompt for Sterek to Tardis99
1. Runaway

Stiles could barely breathe; he was shivering on the cold concrete outside of some random shop trying to use his light-weight red hoodie for warmth. Even though it's been two days on his own in a random city Stiles was glad to be away, he was glad to have escaped and even if that means dying all alone from starvation or dehydration on a street corner than it was worth it.

It was worth finally breaking free from his father, from the abuse, from the torment, and nightmares; he was finally free and even if he died no one could take that away from him. He would never have to come home from school, again, terrified because he saw his father's cruiser in the driveway. So terrified that sometimes he would almost pee his pants while his tremor hands tried to unlock the front door not knowing what kind of mood his father, the Sheriff, would be in.

He didn't know whether Mr. Stilinski would be drunk, in the process of getting drunk, violent, or overly friendly. When Stiles' mother died his father blamed him even though Stiles didn't make his mother have cancer; but his mother, Claudia, did refuse treatment to make it easier on Stiles so that her son wouldn't have to receive false hope with chemo-therapy.

She did so he would be able to watch his mother pass away in peace, and be able to say goodbye. John Stilinski spent many restless nights begging her to get chemo, pleading with her and then proceeding to throw empty Jack Daniels bottles at the kitchen walls when she denied him each time.

Stiles cut his tiny little hands many times picking up the sharp glass pieces those nights, but he didn't mind he felt like he owed it to his father to help pick up the pieces. That continued even after his mother passed away six months later but the drinking and the violence didn't start right away.

His father had went through a period of denial, claiming his wife was on vacation and that she would be back soon; he would laugh and talk on the phone as if he was talking to her having long and drawn out conversations talking to his self. Stiles' 8 year heart ached for his father and he couldn't do anything about it.

So he started to talk to his father instead, he would come home excited, hoping his father wouldn't notice him unplugging the phones and talk for hours to him about nothing. He did this night after night just so his father wouldn't have to feel alone, so he wouldn't have to come home to silence and pretend like his wife was alive.

But Stiles had no idea that it was that silence that was keeping his father sane, that it was that denial and pretending she was alive that kept his father in control but after Stiles began doing all the chores. Began cooking, washing, and talking non-stop his father could do nothing more than face reality which was that his wife had died and it was all his son's fault.

That's when the Jack Daniel bottles came back out, that's when the gentle touches turned into harsh grabs, the gentle smile turned into slurred and hateful words. Lacrosse was a nice cover story for the bruises once he got to high school but his best friend Scott didn't fall for it.

Scott knew something was wrong with Stiles especially those unmentioned nights Stiles came crawling into his bed in the middle of the night crying and shaking with fresh bruises and blood on his face. Those unspeakable times when they were Skyping and his father would come into Stiles' room rubbing soothing circles on his back and Scott never missed the unshed tears his friend would cry out before logging off.

Scott couldn't help Stiles, the town loved the Sheriff and couldn't help Stiles, so Stiles took as much as he could, saved up cash he stole from his father and he ran. He got a ride to the airport from Scott and got on the first stand by flight that he could and winded up here in New York City all alone and shivering on the concrete but at least he was free. That's all he wanted in the end, was to be free and as he closed his eyes he was even prepared to never open them again.

Derek hated Laura, she was a fucking nightmare and kept breathing down his fucking neck to buy some more milk as if he actually drunk the last of the milk. He hasn't been home in two weeks, he's been working on a few new things and hasn't had the chance to come home and yet he has to get the milk.

Why?

Because his sister is a lazy fuck who makes him go out into the late, chilly night to get the damn milk claiming she has fucking cramps. Now he knows why his parents were so eager to have his twin move in with him, he knew it was too damn easy and now he understands.

His parent's fucking played him is what they did; Laura knows Derek hates the cold even if he runs warm it doesn't mean he has to like the cold and did he mention she was lazy? Laura is the most insufferable….

Derek had to stop mid rant as heard the loud sound of teeth chattering even without his enhanced hearing he could hear teeth chattering and that's when he saw him. He saw the skinny yet lean boy shivering against the stone wall huddled in a little red hoodie looking as if he was on the verge of death.

And people were just walking by, not even looking at him just dropping a few coins on the ground by his feet as if that was going to help him. As if those coins were going to keep him alive, keep him fed, or even clothed; the blatant disregard for other's is one of the reasons why Derek hates people so much but Laura keeps telling him to stop being so anti-social.

But Derek can't just be one of those people and walk away from this kid, this kid who smells like dry cum, whiskey, and cigarette smoke and god Derek hoped none of those smells belonged to him because if someone took advantage of the poor kid Derek was going to snap.

He didn't even know the kid but he felt protective over him in an unusual way…which probably means he should stop staring like a sociopath at a sleeping kid in the middle of the sidewalk breathing all heavy and actually pick him up.

'Ha'

Derek thought to his self, he was so going to get out of getting milk now and there was nothing Laura could do because Derek was being a good Samaritan and taking this boy back to their place to get him fed and clothed enough to at least figure out what his name is and if he has family.

"You're heavier than you look," Derek whispered to the sleeping boy in his arms; he also secretly hoped the boy wouldn't be too angry that Derek was holding him bridal style because Derek understood that it could be mildly embarrassing.

Derek was almost home when he noticed the first bruise on the boy in his arms, it was on his cheek and at first Derek merely assumed it was dirt but it's not. Also the bruise on his arm wasn't dirt either, and neither is the finger print on the kid's neck. Oh yeah Derek was going to hunt someone down and kill them, he was convinced; consequences be damned. This is why Derek hated humans.

"Jesus Derek stop snarling, I could feel your rage from like five blocks away, and I got the blanket and started the bath like you shouted at me to get…Jesus what happened to this poor kid." Asked a confused Laura when she saw the teenager in her brother's arms.

Derek didn't stop to face Laura, nor did he respond to her right away, he was on a mission to get this guy cleaned up and in some warm clothes (Derek's clothes) in order to get the harsh scents off of him. Derek was just glad Laura listened to his shouting at her from two blocks away to gets things ready with no questions asked and ran the bath water in his private bathtub.

"Do you want me to wash him or you?" Laura asked a little hesitantly, not sure which Derek she's going to get.

Derek realized his shoulders were tensed and relaxed them immediately, his anger was not towards his sister and he had to remember that. He had to remember that he was not an animal and that the inner rage he possessed was unhealthy and not meant to be targeted towards his family and pack.

"Sorry Laura I know you're just as confused and worried as I am, but it's okay I'll take it from here could you just start some chicken noodle soup please I'm sure he'll be starving when he eventually wakes up." His sister ducked her head but rapidly left the bathroom and headed to the kitchen obeying her brother's command.

Upon hearing the door close Derek carefully stripped the boy of his clothing and placed him in the bath tub before proceeding to check the pockets for any form of all identification. All Derek could find was a poor excuse for a fake ID calling the guy Stiles. It was a weird name but then again it was a fake so probably meant the name was fake also or at least Derek had hoped. But then again if Stiles didn't have a wallet it means he either wasn't carrying it with him or he was robbed.

A low growl emitted from Derek had the thought and Laura had to shush him from the kitchen before he woke Stiles up. Stiles who was apparently sliding deeper into the water about to drown.

"SHIT" Derek murmured in a hurried tone as he rushed over to the tub to pick this Stiles guy up and grabbed a wash cloth to gently clean the guy. Derek was trying to avoid all 'personal' areas but he needed to be cleaned so cleaned is what Derek did.

See Derek can be a nice guy.

"Derek stop molesting the guy and put some clothes on him" he heard Laura say in a knowing tone.

This…this is why he hates Laura.

He still did as he was told and figured if Stiles wanted to take a bath or shower after he ate then he would be allowed to do as much. As soon as the water was out of the tub Derek lifted Stiles in his arms and sat him on the toilet making sure to put boxers on the teenager first while trying not to shift at the sight of him.

His pale skin was painted with bruises and marks varying colors from purple, blue, black, and even red. Derek couldn't help but growl at that, this kid had been through so much it was just another reminder as to why he will always choose his wolf over his human side any day.

"Der?"

Laura's voice broke Derek from his thoughts and that's when he noticed he had shifted into his beta form, he hadn't meant to and he was more than blessed for the fact that Stiles was still unconscious. So he took that moment to finish dressing him in his own sweat pants and tank top before carrying him to his bed.

He pulled the dark blue Duvet back and tucked Stiles in thankful Laura placed some water by the bed stand and then he proceeded to head into the kitchen to bitch to his sister about abuse.

"He has bruises and marks all over his body Laura…all over his fucking body. Someone has been using that kid as a fucking punching bag for years and then proceeded to leave him for dead. God there was dirt stuck in places I felt uncomfortable reaching and his stomach was growling the entire time like he hasn't eaten anything in days…days Laura.

Who could do something like that to another living thing? Who could abuse something like that and then not care what happens to them later? This is why I am the way that I am because of people like that who do things to people like him. He can't be any older than 17 or 18 Laura, my heart hurts just looking at him."

Derek said pacing only stopping to look at Laura with the same sad eyes that she had on her face.

"I know Derek, what happened to him was awful and you know we'll protect him if he so chooses but you can't let what happened to him be an excuse for yourself. You're in a dark place Der and you've always been in a dark place since that night. And I know you claim to be fine but every day that goes by you become less in less in touch with society, with humanity, with yourself.

'I have to watch you smoke away your life, drink away the nights, and fuck anything that comes your way just because you can. And I know you are a porn star so fucking comes with the territory but dammit Derek for once can you care about anything other than yourself or this pack? Maybe that kid Stiles can bring you back to reality, maybe he can reach you like none of us have been able to because I'm worried about you. And some nights? Some nights I'm terrified of you."

And with those parting words Laura cut of the stove where the soup was being contained, and headed for the door; grabbing her purse, keys, and jacket from the couch before looking over her shoulder one last time.

"I'm going out for milk, take care of him Derek and play nice I promise you he is probably harmless and won't bite. I also promise not to come home with any teenaged boys…" and with an evil chuckle she was out the door.

Derek secretly hoped she would get a flat tire just for being an ass and for making Derek think about his emotions and the past and feelings.

That's when Derek saw him…again…Stiles was standing in the doorway of the kitchen holding onto Derek's pillow like a five year old does a stuffed animal. He looked so scared, so sad, so confused, and a whole lot of other things all at the same time.

"Please…please don't hurt me I'll be good." Stiles stuttered out the tears already forming in his eyes while holding onto the pillow harder, he had no idea where he was or why but he did know he was changed and a strange man was standing in front of him scowling.

This is why Derek hated life.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I found you outside and I figured you could use some fresh clothes and some food before you went home." The rapid heartbeat at the word 'home' let Derek know everything he needed to know. Someone at home was abusing this poor boy and he ran away.

"Or not home. It doesn't matter you can stay here for as long as you want and or need to there's plenty of room and food and you're crying?" Derek was baffled, what did he say wrong? He missed the sympathy lessons growing up, he doesn't know how to console someone…he just knows anger and vengeance.

Derek took a few steps closer and Stiles took a few steps back until his back hit the sink, dropping the pillow, and he flinched automatically. Derek stumbled back as if he had been hit his self.

"I wasn't…I wasn't going to hurt you." Said Derek with furrowed eyebrows.

"Then why did you keep walking closer?" Stiles said back trying not to flinch.

"I don't know I was going to rub your back or something to soothe you." Replied Derek with an awkward shrug.

Derek didn't have to socialize outside of pack, he doesn't know what to say.

"Dude I'm not a toddler you don't have to burp me." Snorted Stiles who stood back up, his body relaxing immediately after determining no threat was present.

Derek made a mental note that Stiles was used to his Fight or Flight instincts; just another reason to kick whoever's ass later.

"Sarcasm I can handle. I'm Derek Hale and my sister Laura shares this condo with me, we live on the fourth floor. I'm the one who bathed you and put you in my clothes while yours are washing, I'm not sure if you have any other clothes or not but I found you on the street…"

Derek was stopped by a hand.

A fucking hand!

"Can we not? Please?" The desperation in his voice made Derek deflate and drop the topic. He went over to the store and poured Stiles some soup in a bowl instead, giving it to him and showing him the table to sit at. After Derek made his own serving of soup, the two sat down together in complete silence.

And Laura will mock him for eternity for this later but Derek thought it was nice, being at ease for once…the feeling was nice.


	2. Smoke one for Me

Stiles was thankful for Derek's silence, he was thankful for Laura tucking him in the spare bed, and he was thankful the most for the fact he just might have lucked out for once in his life. The siblings didn't seem to be crazy, you know in the sociopathic sort of way that ended in his untimely death.

But then again Stiles can't be too certain and let his guard down, they obviously wanted something from him; they had to have or else why would they feed him and clothe him and allow him to stay here? Everyone else had passed him by on the street so why would Derek stop?

Stiles sighed internally and starred up at the ceiling doing nothing but blinking. He hated over thinking things, the siblings were probably just decent human beings and Stiles was working his self-up over nothing.

But just in case it would probably be smart to get in touch with Scott, he was supposed to call two days ago letting Scott know he was okay and that everything was okay but hello reality? Two days ago Stiles was barely alive so…

Stiles looked around the room and saw no phone so he got out of the bed, secretly liking Derek's brief's, and walked into the kitchen trying to be as quiet as possible. His growling stomach wasn't helping much for his trying to be stealth.

Why had they fed him soup? He might be skinny but he does eat meat lots of meat and curly fries. He loves curly fries and lasagna, chicken, pasta, and god his was hungry again. But should he raid their refrigerator? Probably not the best move, Stiles would just use the phone then pray they fed him actual food in the morning.

Should Stiles cook them breakfast? They said he could stay but did they really mean it or were they just being nice? Maybe if Stiles cooked and cleaned and show his worth then they'll want to keep him, unless…Unless cooking and cleaning is a trigger like his father….

God his father, he hadn't thought of his father before now. What if he found him? He would be so pissed at Stiles for running away, he probably contacted Scott's father who works at the FBI and has a man hunt searching for him this very second.

Stiles looked towards the two bedrooms with doors closed and closed his eyes trying to get his breathing under control. If his father found him here, Derek and Laura could get hurt and Stiles doesn't want that. They were nice to him and it would be the appropriate thing to simply leave because his father probably has Scott's phone tapped or something.

"Fuck." Stiles screamed out clinching his heart for two reasons…one being the thought of his father finding him scared him and two because Derek was just standing there staring at him.

But Derek didn't look all the way there; it was like a part of him was missing or something. The way he was just watching Stiles absentmindedly seemed as if Derek was looking through Stiles and it was very unnerving.

"Didn't mean to frighten you." Derek said in a monotone voice whilst still standing there staring in his black brief's with NOTHING else on. God that guy had abs.

And yet oddly enough Stiles highly doubts Derek didn't mean to startle him.

"You're hungry." Derek said it as if it were a statement even though Stiles is sure that was supposed to be a question. But Derek scared Stiles so who was he to question the guy.

Stiles simply nodded, afraid of using his voice, and afraid of setting off a possible trigger Derek might have. But maybe silence wasn't a good thing around Derek because the big guy just got that absent look on his face again before turning around and walking away back to the bedroom and seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Ah….Laura is coming now…that explains absolutely nothing.

"Sorry about my brother he doesn't cook and refuses to learn how. He just assumes I'll cook for him for the rest of his pathetic life and he calls me the lazy one." Laura grumbles as she enters the kitchen in nothing but a long T-Shirt and wow, the girl had a nice figure.

Stiles was sure he thought that in his head but the shit eating grin Laura now has on her face, Stiles is not so sure anymore.

"I can…I can cook if you want. Or he wants or you both want sometime. Anytime really. All the time actually because I'm like really good at it you know? The cooking thing that is. I'm really good at cooking so…" Stiles had no idea why he was so nervous but his damn heart just wouldn't slow the fuck down.

"Would you? I'm so sleepy you can use whatever it is that you need, please just feel relaxed and I will not turn down helping hands. Anytime you want to cook my brother and I will eat trust us on that we have massive appetites." Laura said giving that smile again and Stiles eased once more.

"Well good that's good. Cooking is good. Cooking is what I know." Cooking is also the reason he had to run away but they didn't need to know that.

Stiles must be as open as a book because Laura got this concerned look in her eyes before furrowing her brows as if she was trying to figure out what dark place Stiles was going to. Maybe she knew about dark places, her brother seemed to go to them all the time…speaking of which.

"Derek scares me." Stiles all but blurted out. SMOOTH Stiles…really smooth.

Laura's obnoxiously loud laugh eased Stiles a bit. So did hearing her laugh even harder after an odd growl like noise had come from Derek's room.

"Sorry…sorry it's just. Yeah he gets that a lot. But don't worry about it he won't hurt you or bother you I promise he just…he just leaves his body sometimes, it's like his body is still there physically but mentally he's gone. He made a five year old pee themselves from terror at the grocery store last month. " Laura said holding her sides from the laughter.

Stiles' eyes grew in horror. He could see why the kid wet themselves Derek probably scowled the shit out of them.

"That? That I can see, but you? Why would you make him get milk after that encounter?" asked Stiles as he opened the freezer pulling out some chicken.

Laura smiled again and winked before turning around to walk back to her room. Upon reaching the door she looked over shoulder and said: "Maybe I just like torturing him."

Stiles was left with frozen chicken and confusion. The siblings were definitely weird.

Derek woke to pancakes, eggs, sausages, and muffins with a large pot of coffee already ready. Laura had sent him a text letting him know she would be away for the whole day so he and Stiles could "bond". Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

"Hey you're finally awake. Your sister ate already I didn't want to eat without you so I waited…" Stiles trailed off after catching Derek's eyes and that's probably because Derek was staring at him absentmindedly again. It was a problem Derek is working on fixing.

"You cooked? And waited for me to wake up so we could eat together?" Derek asked hesitant.

Stiles shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, still in his brief's and a t-shirt of Derek's.

"Yeah…was that wrong?" asked Stiles so soft spoken and faint like he was waiting for Derek to lash out.

Derek wanted to hug him and make it all better, which was odd because Derek was a firm believer in not hugging people but dammit if he didn't want to hug Stiles right now.

"If you're hungry you can eat Stiles, whenever you want you never have to wait for me or ask my permission for anything okay? I want you to feel safe here and I know I'm making it hard because I stare but…just…you're safe okay?" Derek was frustrated with his self and this whole situation because Stiles was scared of him. Terrified of him and Derek didn't want that, he wanted to protect the kid not make the situation worse.

Stiles simply nodded his understanding and handed Derek a loaded plate of food before fixing his own and joining him at the table. Derek took one side glance at Stiles and whispered 'well played Laura…well fucking played' silently to his self.

Derek knew in that moment he would have to try and change some of his ways, he wouldn't be able to lose control and lash out like he can with Laura, he'll have to tap into more of his humanity because Stiles? Stiles doesn't deserve to be broken any more than what he currently is.

Stiles hated awkward silences; they made him itch and twitch which was doing nothing to "win" Derek over. The huffing coming from the big guy was enough to make Stiles want to laugh but then it would just turn into an even bigger awkward silence which is you know…counter productive.

"So…" began Stiles but stopped immediately as Derek got up and went into his bedroom.

He was contemplating getting up and following the man but then Derek came back with his laptop plopping it down in his lap.

"Here…so you can call your friend. I heard you mumbling about it last night but then you changed your mind, you can use my skype if you'd like I'm just going to go smoke on the balcony." And just like that Derek was about to get up and leave when Stiles stopped him.

"I…I don't want to put you out, this is your home I can go outside if you'd like or into the bed room or stay right here and you can meet Scott. I just…I just don't want you to get sick of me or over stay my welcome you know?" admitted Stiles because let's be honest this whole situation was random.

But Stiles could see Derek sigh and have some internal battle before responding.

"Stiles…I brought you back to my place because you looked like you needed help. I don't want anything from you, I'm not going to hurt you, and I want you to feel as if this is your home. I know it's hard to feel at ease around me like you can with Laura but I'm working on it alright? So just be yourself, ask for what you want or need and stop freaking out like I'm some sort of time bomb waiting to explode okay?" shouted Derek.

And Stiles could see the veins popping in the guys neck looking almost as if he was trying not to explode which is kind of ironic…but still Stiles gets the point Derek is trying to make he wants Stiles to stop being such a baby. Stiles can do that, only it's just Stiles is nothing more than a child who was forced to grow up too quickly.

Who was forced to take a lot of pain at such a young age and never was able to mourn his mother. He was never able to enjoy summer in the community pool shirtless because of his bruises. Never able to have sleep over's because of his father's drinking. Never able to do anything but take care of the one person who hated him the most so yeah Stiles was kind of childish in being afraid of Derek but he had a reason to be.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad." Replied Stiles softly resisted the urge to flinch; in all honesty he just wanted to win Derek over, prove to him that he was thankful and that he wasn't this child.

"God…I'm not mad I'm just…ugh…I'm going to smoke." And just like that Derek huffed out an angry sigh and left to go to the balcony to smoke leaving Stiles to mentally curse himself for making things worse.

"I thought you were talking to your friend." Derek said upon hearing Stiles join him on the balcony, not bothering to turn around and look at the boy.

He could hear Stiles sigh before sitting down hesitantly.

"I did…he's doing good just worried about me. Said my dad has been looking for me so there's that, nothing I hadn't already guessed before. Other than that, nobody at school even realized I was missing, I guess being invisible has it's downsides." Replied Stiles and the sadness to his tone alerted Derek that the intended joke wasn't a joke at all.

"Maybe being invisible is good, you get a fresh start in a new city and you can be whoever you want. Don't let the opinion and influence of other's determine the type of person that you are." Derek said ignoring the enormous elephant in the room discussion which is 'who are you so afraid of?' Then Derek found himself saying turning to Stiles for the first time.

Derek saw a mini version of himself in those eyes, the kid who was once afraid of his own skin, of his own identity, afraid of going to sleep because of the nightmares. But also afraid of being awake because of the monster's who walk in the daylight. But Derek had his wolf to tap into…what does Stiles have?

"Can I have a hit?" Stiles asked pointing to the blunt in Derek's hand thus pulling the man out of his own thoughts.

"You're too young, practically a child." Derek snorted in response not going to be the reason Stiles goes down a bad path.

"I can't become a man if people refuse to let me grow up. I made it to New York on my own I think I can survive some marijuana." Replied a more stern Stiles and Derek hasn't seen this part of him yet.

A part of Stiles who is relaxed and not tense, who doesn't look as if he might pee his self because of Derek or run the opposite way. Derek liked this Stiles and wanted the kid to be able to feel more like home, to feel free and no longer afraid of his own shadow. Like Derek once was.

"Here…inhale but not too much." Stiles nodded and proceeded to chock immediately pushing the blunt away as he was having trouble breathing. Derek laughed for the first time in a while at that.

"Never give up on the first go around…here try it again."

Stiles got this weird look on his face as if he was trying to figure Derek out before taking it and trying it again. It wasn't until Laura came home, scowling at the two for getting high on the balcony and not cleaning the place up, that Derek realized it was the first time he too felt relaxed.


	3. Who are You?

Stiles woke around five am not able to sleep, so he cooked a breakfast casserole for Derek and Laura before returning back to bed. Around ten am he woke again, but this time it was because he felt a hand stroking his face and smelled the faint scent of perfume. Out of instinct Stiles flinched back and flailed his arms till he had hit the floor making a loud thud sound.

"Sorry, didn't know you would react that way." A sweet voice called out from on top of the bed, Stiles hesitantly looked up to see a very gorgeous and very half naked blond laying on his bed. The same bed Stiles was once in.

What the fuck.

"Who are you again?" asked Stiles as he was scooting back a little just in case this was a ploy by his father to lure him back home. He also wanted to know why the girl had no pants on.

And where was Derek?

"Do I make you nervous? Hey kid it's cool I'm Erica a friend of Derek and Laura's they asked me to babysit while they ran some errands. By the way you are a fabulous cook I practically had to wrestle Derek for the last bit of food but sneaky ass Isaac came in and stole it from us." Erica was so lost in her training of thought that she hadn't noticed Stiles inching towards the door.

But before he could sneak out there was another one coming into the room, he was tall and built with curly hair and puppy dog eyes. Kind of like Scott but more menacing than Scott; like he was hiding a dark secret or something.

"Erica stop scaring the poor guy and put some clothes on. Didn't Derek tell you not to bother him? Sorry about her I'm Isaac also known as the nice one. And the one in the living room not talking is Boyd; I promise he might look intimidating but he's a softy underneath all that muscle." Isaac said while jumping to sit on the bed pushing Erica out of the way.

Could they hear Stiles' heart beat? Because Stiles could hear his own heartbeat, it was beating loud and fast and he just knew he was going to have a heart attack at any moment. Why would Derek leave him all alone with random people? Were they safe? Would they cause him any harm? How come Derek never mentioned them before?

Should Stiles say something or just sit here on floor holding his knees to his chest in the corner praying that they leave? Did they know why Stiles was here? Derek and Laura didn't even really know why Stiles was here but would they care?

"Would you two leave him alone I can feel his heart beating from the living room. Out!" Stiles assumed that was Boyd who had come to his bedroom door now shouting at his two friends on the bed…both who were staring at Stiles like they wanted kidnap him and never let him go again.

Boyd didn't say anything to Stiles, he merely flexed his muscles and tried to get control over his veins like Derek does when angry, and simply left. Erica and Isaac following suit, both giving a wicked smile at him before closing the door.

Stiles could hear the girl, Erica, whispering to other, Isaac, about how fun Stiles would be to work with. Whatever the hell that meant.

"Fuck." Breathed out Stiles finally standing up trying to control his shaking hands; it's been a while since he's had a panic attack but he could feel one coming on if he didn't get his act together.

He decided a shower was the best way to calm down, maybe after he got out they would be gone or maybe Derek would be back and Stiles could finally relax. Derek and Stiles just started bonding last night but now Derek doesn't seem all that scary, he's just a normal guy with a dark past like his self.

One thing about assumptions that suck is that they aren't accurate predictions meaning Stiles was wrong in his wishful thinking that it was all a joke, dream, or hallucination. As soon as he entered the living room he heard shouting coming from who he assumed was Erica and Isaac who were playing a video game while a bored looking Boyd turned his attention towards Stiles.

"Feeling better?" asked Boyd who gave an evil grin and Erica immediately turned around as well shining her devilish smile and Stiles instantly felt exposed.

He crossed his arms over his chest trying to hide and curl into his self because it was almost as if they had known that Stiles jerked off in the shower twice. But he made sure to be quiet while he did it…right?

"Hey you look like you know how to play CoD come help me…Erica cheats." Isaac said giving Stiles a slight smile and sticking out the controller for him to take. Stiles wanted to go into his room, lock the door and wait for Derek or Laura but his feet had other plans because he found himself sitting on the floor beside Isaac playing CoD with Erica.

It was comfortable after a while; he felt at ease and even learned a few things about the trio. They knew Derek since high school and followed him to New York where they were all actors. Stiles doesn't know what genre because they were all very vague about the details but no matter that, Stiles knows how to google.

He also learned that Isaac is extremely sweet but kind of a bad boy as well he's a type of guy his mother would call "trouble." Then there was Erica who was the most hands on person he had ever met and it was weird, Stiles wasn't used to people touching him unless it was his father so after the fifth time Stiles flinched and hid behind Boyd's massive leg, Erica finally stopped trying.

Boyd didn't talk the entire time, he gave a few snorts or grunts every now and then but mainly he just observed. Stiles liked Boyd, Boyd was comfortable and easy going but he got a strange feeling that Boyd didn't particularly like him…maybe it was just Stiles reading too much into things but Stiles could have sworn he heard Erica growl at Boyd to stop the guy from staring at Stiles.

"So…how come Derek's never mentioned you three before?" asked Stiles as he got up from the floor so he could get started on making lasagna.

"Probably because you've been here all of five minutes and he doesn't trust you with knowing his business." Boyd bit out and Isaac smacked the back of his head before getting up and joining Stiles in the kitchen.

Stiles wasn't going to admit how much that hurt but yeah that was rude.

"Don't listen to Boyd…it's him who has the trust issues believe me. Anyways if you thought Derek and his anger was bad, Boyd is much worse because he just sits there and allows his anger to consume him." Isaac whispered in Stiles' ear allowing his lips to brush against his skin sending a shiver throughout his body.

Isaac must have seen this because he smiled and simply stood closer to Stiles.

"It's cool it's not like I've told Derek everything either but I was just nervous to wake up to a half naked girl stroking my face….not used to that." Admitted Stiles trying not to let Boyd get to him too much.

"Would you have preferred to wake up to a half naked guy instead?" Erica asked smiling and yeah Stiles should not be blushing that girl was pure evil. But another part of Stiles was just nervous about waking up to anyone who wasn't Scott…too many bad memories to just ignore over night.

"Everyone's entitled to their own secrets, Derek and Laura both like you here they told us so themselves." Isaac responded raising his eyebrows at the way Stiles froze at that and began to blush.

"And they're both idiots! What if his 'secrets' get Derek or Laura hurt. How come it was Derek who had to find Stiles and him who just had to 'save him.' They're not thinking clearly and I'm the bad guy?" Boyd growled out and that was the most Stiles heard from the guy.

But he wasn't wrong, Stiles has asked his self those same questions over and over again with no direct or proper answers. What if Stiles' father found him and the siblings got hurt in the process for 'knowing too much' for lack of a better term. Stiles has thought about this every single night.

"Don't listen to Boyd, Derek doesn't think that…Boyd's just grumpy because he hasn't fucked in a week and it's getting closer to the full moon. Makes Boyd a little cranky…he'll be better tomorrow after he films." Erica spoke out and said from the couch where she was rubbing circles on the guy's back.

There was a lot of confusing things she had just said but Stiles was going to drop it and just chalk it up to the fact that everyone was just fucking weird.

"It's true…so Erica why don't you take Boyd for a walk or something and Stiles and I will cook." Erica and Boyd both nodded and left, and Stiles tried not snort at the fact Isaac made it seems as if Erica was taking her dog for a walk around the park.

And then there was silence again…god Stiles hated silence.

"How long have you been cooking?" Isaac asked trying to break the tension as he started to cook the hamburger meat in the pan.

"Since I was a child really…long story. How about you?" Stiles said as he began to cut up onions.

"Since my mother died and it was just my father, my brother and me. Let's just say it was important to make sure my father was happy at all costs." Isaac admitted and got a distant look in his eyes…Stiles knew that look and with a silent nod they both understood.

"Derek's back." Isaac said nonchalantly and before Stiles could say 'how do you know?' the door opened and popped in a very angry Derek.

"Erica told me what happened, I saw the two of them about a block or so away. I'm sorry about Boyd Stiles and about Erica bothering you. I should have told you I had asked them to come over and keep you company I didn't want you to think I had abandoned you." Derek admitted whilst lightening up a cigarette.

"It's okay there are some things you and I need to talk about I know that but I'm just not ready just yet. Plus Isaac's not bad…did you and Laura get everything done?" Stiles asked trying to change the subject. Stiles also didn't want to admit he hated people apologizing for other's...Erica and Boyd did nothing wrong so Derek shouldn't have to apologize on their behalf.

"Yeah I had to film while she went to her classes she should be home soon." Responded Derek who handed Stiles the cig after inhaling one more time. Stiles took it and was determined not to cough.

The laughter emitted from Derek after hearing him do nothing BUT cough was adorable and so was the laugh emitting from Isaac who was watching Derek laugh.

"That's good I didn't know she was at university…but dinner should be ready soon." Stiles said handing the cig back to Derek with force.

Derek merely laughed again and headed towards his bedroom.

"I'm going to take a shower, Isaac meet me in my room when you can." And like that Derek was gone.

"Whelp duty calls…you can handle this right?" Isaac asked and Stiles nodded secretly not wanting to even know what the two of them were about to do.

Derek and Isaac still weren't out of the room by the time Laura got home so Stiles wasn't surprised to see it was her who had sat beside him on the balcony. She had a plate filled with lasagna and held in her laughter as Stiles let out a massive cough after inhaling the cig smoke too long.

"One day I'm going to smoke this thing and not cough…mark my words Laura." Stiles said smiling whilst turning to the side to look at her.

Laura flashed him a small smile before jamming the biggest fork full of food, Stiles has ever seen, into her mouth.

"Practice makes perfect right?" replied Laura trying to talk and chew at the same time.

"Permanent." Stiles replied nonchalantly while turning to stare at the view in front of him and putting his feet up on the railing.

"Huh?" Stiles heard Laura ask from beside him.

"Permanent…practice doesn't make perfect it makes permanent. You can spend your entire life doing something wrong and claiming it's right but in the end it'll always be wrong. So practice makes permanent not perfect." Stiles spoke again.

Laura hummed her acknowledgement but Stiles could tell the wheels in her head were turning desperately trying to figure Stiles out and a part of him wishes she could guess and be right and he wouldn't have to hide anymore.

"Erica called and told me what happened Stiles…" Laura started to stay but then stopped.

"Are you going to apologize on her and Boyd's behalf like everyone else?" Stiles asked turning to face Laura again, already having gave up on smoking.

"No there's no point I don't feel as if they did anything wrong. I asked Erica to try and touch you because I've noticed how you've been flinching less and less around Derek and I and I just wanted to see how you responded around strangers. You won't explain to me what happened to you and I respect that and I will wait until you're ready but as a psychology major it's in me to figure people out.

'As far as Boyd goes, well Boyd has his own issues he's battling and maybe one day he'll be open enough to share them with you. It doesn't excuse what he said to you or his actions but he's entitled to his own opinion and I respect that he was only trying to look out for Derek and I." Laura stopped talking and Stiles was processing what she had just said.

"You're absolutely right and I thank you for not apologizing because I honestly hate that. I hate when people apologize for other's actions as if they could control the situation or make that person feel guilty. Like my mother used to say before she passed away, 'The ones who are truly sorry have nothing to feel sorry about.' Until recently I never knew what she meant by that by now? Now I understand what she meant, if a person didn't want to do something they knew was wrong, they wouldn't do it." Stiles stopped talking as he got a distant look on his face.

He was thinking about his father and all those times Scott would say 'I'm sure he's sorry and didn't mean it Stiles.' But of course his father meant it; he meant every hit and every slur. Stiles was also thankful for the fact that Laura wasn't treating him as if he was broke or like a child; she was merely just trying to understand. And if she could make an effort than so could Stiles.

"Your mother sounds like a very smart woman, as do you." Laura finished saying thus pulling Stiles out of his thoughts. This was all getting way too intense and he wanted to forget, to just be able to block the memories away and ignore the wrenching pain and feeling in the back of his mind that says. 'This is all too good to be true.'

So Stiles hummed his agreement and acknowledgement and promptly stood up heading towards the door that lead back inside. Laura was done with her lasagna and stood up after him.

"Laura can we go out tonight?" Stiles asked while stopping to turn around and face her.

She tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes as if she was concentrating on Stiles, trying to hear something inside of him. It was an odd feeling.

"Sure, we can go to one of the clubs my Uncle owns that way we get in free and we won't have to worry about that poor excuse for a fake ID you carry around. " She replied snorting after bypassing Stiles to get inside. She obviously was satisfied with whatever it was she was trying to do.

"Good…that's good. And hey my ID worked very well in California just so you know. But also do you think I could borrow some clothes from Derek?" Stiles asked following Laura to the kitchen.

"Derek's clothes won't fit you but I took the opportunity after my last class to buy you some cute clothes…I doubt any of the pants will work for a club but I have some skinny jeans that would look great on you. Come with me for a total make over." Laura said smiling and instantly Stiles regretted that his feet was following behind Laura like a lost puppy.

When he got into her room and she the door smiling a devilish smile, Stiles knew he wasn't going to like whatever it was she was going to do to him.


	4. Starting Over

Stiles had to admit that he was far less nervous after walking into the club; he had felt out of his element after receiving the intense glares from Derek and Isaac upon seeing his attire. Laura made him wear some tight black skinny jeans, with a form fitting navy V-neck shirt and spiked his hair up in the front a little. Stiles was highly convinced that if he didn't leave the apartment Isaac was going to eat him…and not in a good way if eating someone can be in a good way.

But never mind that now because Stiles was currently sitting in VIP with a gorgeous Laura and even had some random guy buy him a drink. Granted Stiles should have probably said he wasn't gay but hey free drink is free drink and honestly it made him feel good about his self; like maybe he could do this.

Maybe he could come out of his protective shell and experience life in a new way, experience his second chance that fate was giving him. He even got up the courage to ask Laura to dance, who seemed to have brighten up at the sound of that. Everything was going smoothly until someone had come up behind Stiles and grabbed his waist.

The guy was only trying to dance like everyone else was but out of instinct Stiles curled in on his self and dropped the ground immediately waiting for hurtful words to be yelled at him whilst being hit repeatedly in the ribs. But the blows never came, only thing Stiles could hear was a very angry Laura growling and cursing at the guy calling him an idiot before gently picking Stiles up who felt embarrassed instantly.

All eyes were on him, at least that how it felt as Laura was walking him out of the club whispering apologies under her breath.

"Stop apologizing Laura please…it was all me okay? I forgot where I was for a second and instinct kicked in." admitted Stiles whilst wrapping his arms around his own body, trying to shut himself out from the world.

"That's the thing! That shouldn't be your instinct. It shouldn't be your defensive mode that you go to and it makes me so mad because I just want to hug you and shelter you from the world but I know that I can't. I know that with time it will get easier but god Stiles I should have said no to a club so soon." Shouted Laura more to herself than anything else.

But that's not what Stiles wanted, he didn't want the pity or even the self loathe anymore he just wanted to get better; because whether he wants to admit it to his self or not he's not okay. In fact one could safely assume and say that he was in fact broken and in need of fixing but he wouldn't be able to do it alone. And he didn't want Derek to look at him like Laura was looking at him now, with eyes of concern and sorrow.

"Just…just don't tell Derek okay? He thinks I'm getting better and I need him to continue thinking that okay?" Stiles was all but pleading now and Laura gave him the biggest brown eyes before reluctantly nodding her head, agreeing to her silence.

"It won't change anything you know?" Stiles heard Laura say after about ten minutes of silent walking.

"Huh?" asked a confused Stiles who was now looking up.

"Derek. Even if I told Derek it wouldn't change anything, we don't pity you and we don't think you're broken we just want to make sure you have a chance at all the happiness you once were robbed of. We know about shitty pasts Stiles, trust me when I say this…we don't pity you, and Derek won't think less of you if tell him about tonight."

As Laura stopped talking Stiles hummed his acknowledgement but he knew deep down that none of that was true. Laura was simply saying what he wanted and needed to hear because she was psychic and could sense what he was feeling but when Stiles looks in her eyes he sees nothing but a broken thing starring back at him. And Derek? Derek would only see the same thing.

x

Derek was angry with himself for not going to the club and looking out for Stiles like all of his instincts told him to but he had a stupid video he needed Isaac to help him edit because he hated the edits Danny always produced out.

But one thing was for sure and was the fact that Derek was glad Stiles felt comfortable enough to tell him about his trigger, it's a massive step to overcoming obstacles, a step it took Derek six years to take himself.

"Stiles tell me something about yourself?" Derek asked randomly while Laura was out getting ice cream for everyone.

Stiles turned to Derek trying to school his confused face before responding.

"I remember when the Harry Potter books first came out, I used to sit in my room and read them comparing myself to him and thinking 'at least I don't live underneath the stairs.'" Stiles laughed at the memory even though he knew it came out sounding just as sad and broken as he felt.

"That's remarkable…" Derek started to say whilst staring at Stiles from the couch in mild fascination.

"A little boy with a Harry Potter fetish isn't remarkable Derek its normal." Replied Stiles, who was shifting on the couch uncomfortable under the man's gaze.

"A boy who was dealing with his own torment was reading about a boy who was dealing with a crap life also and yet somehow managed to find the silver lining in his own life within that story. If I was you and I read Harry Potter I would have hated humanity even more than I already had." Derek responded honestly and Stiles merely nodded his head taking it all in.

"I doubt you would have hated humanity though, there is some good left in this world. I know what my d…my dad did was horrible but he's one man, I can't judge everyone based on that or else I'd never get anywhere." Stiles finally said wishing he could just reach and touch Derek's arm.

Derek laughed to his self, here he was sitting on a couch with this complete stranger with an abusive and horrible past and instead of comforting him, said boy is comforting Derek instead. Derek has seen the ugly mask of society, he knows that man is inherently evil and it's a shame that Stiles can't see that, it's a shame that this kid is going to constantly get hurt because he will constantly seek the good in man.

"What's so funny?" Derek heard Stiles ask thus pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Nothing it's just…you told me something about your past so I will tell you something about mine. I've seen what man can do Stiles, I've seen the harsh realities of life. When I was five years old I went playing in the woods with my twin older brother's, my cousin and my uncle Peter. There were men in the woods that day, hunters to be exact and well let's just say I went home with only an uncle and cousin.

My older brother's pushed me out of the way while my cousin covered my mouth and told me to be quiet. We had lost my Uncle because we were playing around and ran ahead of him but once he caught up and saw my brother's being slaughtered he lost it. He fought the guys off and killed them but the damage was already done my brothers were still dead.

And all for what Stiles? Ever since that day I saw nothing but the harshness of humanity, I saw wars and greed, and pure selfish instinct and all of those things amount to what? Nothing. At the end of the day all of those things amount to absolutely nothing. I was never the same after that day, I've seen half of my family slaughtered over the years and it hardens a person."

Derek stopped talking and wiped his palms on his jeans trying to wipe away the blood drawn from his claws.

"Jesus Derek!" Stiles gasped out, eyes filled with tears and a quivery voice. He had so many questions, so many concerns and absolutely no idea why Derek was sharing this with him and now.

Derek closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.

"I told you this not to compare horror stories but because I want you to be careful Stiles. I let my guard down before it got someone I love killed and I can't…I just want you to be careful when you start trusting people again because not everyone is good. There will be more bad than good and I want you to know that, I want you to realize that people will lie and cheat and steal and kill to get what they want and…

And I need you to remember that while you can trust Laura and me there will be people out there that could hurt you. People who will smile in your face and call you a friend while plotting your death behind your back and when I look into your eyes I can see so much innocence…so much beauty and I want you to protect yourself. Okay?"

Derek chanced looking at Stiles and could see the infamous question plaguing his face 'why are you telling me this?' but Derek doesn't have that answer. He just knows that he won't be able to handle if something bad happened to Stiles because he trusted the wrong person; because he wanted so desperately to find the good in humanity that he let his guard down for the wrong person.

"Okay…yeah Derek okay." Was all Stiles could reply and the two sat in silence not daring to speak.

x

Laura was thankful Derek opened up to Stiles, she was more than surprised to hear the two of them talking while she was standing at the door holding the ice cream she had went out to get. More than surprised that Derek had managed to share something so personal so soon with a stranger; she was now convinced more than ever that Stiles just might be good for Derek after all.

The following reasons are why the next morning while Derek was out for a morning jog Laura thought she would surprise Stiles by showing him exactly what it is that Derek does. And after hearing Stiles scream 'seriously what the fuck' Laura is now thinking maybe she shouldn't have pulled up a video of Derek's shoot, put it on full volume and ran out of the room.

"Laura I repeat what the fuck?" Laura heard Stiles shout from his bedroom again and yeah Laura definitely should have went about this differently.

Being the bigger person, Laura slowly strolls into Stiles' room trying to put on her innocent face as she sits on the corner of the bed and stares at a disturbed looking Stiles.

"Why would you start playing porn and run out of the room at eight in the morning like who does that? Not only is it porn but it's gay porn; gay porn of your brother like what the fuck!? Is this your not so subtle way of telling me that you and Derek want like some kinky incest threesome or something because I'm not…"

Laura's eyes got big as she stopped Stiles from talking any further.

"God no Stiles…I over heard Derek opening up to you last night and I'm just so glad that he's letting you in and everything. So I wanted to show you what it is that he does for a living, what they all do…all meaning Isaac, Erica and Boyd as well. Granted I could have been smoother with the whole transaction but whatever, I see you haven't stopped watching it."

Laura said with a knowing smile as Stiles' eyes got bigger, his cheeks got a deeper red and as he shut the laptop down like it personally burned him or something.

"It's called being in shock Laura…I am in shock." Stiles said trying to play off the situation whilst deciding it was more than time to get out of bed for a nice long shower. Preferably cold.

"Whatever you say Stiles…but one last thing before Derek gets back I know what he said to you last night about being careful of not trusting the wrong person. I just thought that maybe if were to go down to the studio next time Derek or Isaac has a shoot then maybe you'll see that not every touch is a bad touch. Sometimes touching can bring pleasure as well under the right circumstances."

And with a flash of a small smile she was gone leaving Stiles with an awkward boner and a confusion filled headache. But as he turned and looked at the laptop one more time he thought maybe Laura was right, maybe seeing what kind of pleasurable can come from touching will help him get rid of the dark thoughts and nightmares that plague his life.


	5. Chapter 5

Stiles woke up in a dilemma, he had managed to successfully avoid Derek for a full 24 hours leaving thus leaving the man very confused or at least he was confused until his sister Laura confessed to him what she had done. Stiles had never seen Derek more silent or closed off before especially since the big guy was more of a 'loud shouting and angry brooding' kind of guy.

So Stiles stayed in his room reading some random book he had managed to find about lost souls and then it finally hit him. For a full 24 hours Stiles was so worried about Derek and Laura and trying not to feel awkward around the two that he hadn't thought of his father. It was the first time he was able to sleep and not have nightmares about the abuse and Stiles didn't know why.

More than anything he wished he could ask Laura since this was her department but he didn't feel comfortable talking with her right now. She showed him the video and exposed a private side of her brother just so that she could get a response out of Stiles; so she could 'evaluate him' further and he didn't like that. He didn't like feeling as if he was some sort of experiment even though he knew Laura's heart was in the right place.

But nudity and the idea of sex always makes Stiles uncomfortable, which kind of sucks since Stiles is a teenage boy with hormones but whenever someone touches his skin he flinches. Whenever somebody gets close to him or tries to act nice he becomes suspicious; and whenever he tries to close his eyes his father appears. So many bad memories flooded his brain it wasn't hard for Stiles to have a vault filled with negative moments that chose to replay what happened to him over and over again whenever he closed his eyes.

And a small part of Stiles wants to know if Laura wanted Stiles to get involved in porn, if it was her subtle way of saying he needed to get out there or even earn a living or something. He knows Laura isn't like that and that she would never want nor ask that of Stiles but having doubts, worrying about his own safety, and being suspicious of people's motives are what keeps Stiles alive. It's literally all he knows.

And even though he's trying to break free from the prison of his past that he's currently in he knows it's not that easy. When he was with Scott they could cuddle and touch and he would be fine because he knows Scott, he trusts Scott and loves him but Scott's not here anymore. Derek's here though, and Stiles feels as if he could possibly trust Derek one day; he knows Derek won't hurt him but he also knows Derek has a temper and at any point could get frustrated with Stiles and lose it.

It's not like anyone knows exactly where Stiles is especially Stiles doesn't even know exactly where he is at the moment and that makes him feel very vulnerable. It makes him feel like he should crawl under the covers in a fetal position and not leave until its safe again, until he can hear his mother's soft voice telling him that it will all be okay.

And that's when the memories flood Stiles' brain and he remembers that his mother didn't fight to protect Stiles. She allowed the cancer to take over and didn't bother with Chemo because she didn't want Stiles to have false hope, to think his mother was going to survive only for her to get worse and die anyways. She had to protect Stiles because it was her job, she was his mother and she needed to protect him like the child he was.

But Stiles is no longer a child is he? He's almost eighteen years old but to a certain extent he's still a child, a child that needs to be coddled and protected and he hates that. He hates that more than anything because the last time someone coddled and protected him they died and upon doing so destroyed his life and that hurts more than anything. So that's why Stiles is so hell bent out of shape on becoming better, on fixing himself because he doesn't want to lose anyone else he's not worth another life.

He wants to be able to give Derek and Laura hugs just because. He wants to be able to see Derek's porn video without feeling ashamed, wants to be able to go to a club without having a panic attack. He just wants to be normal and it sucks that his stupid brain just won't allow him to have the happiness that he so badly craves but he'll find a way to do. He'll find a way to be happy again.

x

Derek was surprised when he heard Stiles knock on his bedroom door asking to come in, he was surprised to see Stiles walk over to where he was sitting in his chair and give him a hug. Actually Derek was more than surprised because he kind of froze, just became stiff at the embrace not knowing what to do. So maybe you could say that Derek was kind of shocked. Laura and Derek didn't hug, Derek was not a hugger, when people saw Derek they walked the other way out of fear and yet here was this broken child biting his bottom lip out of shire nervousness and hugging him.

So sue Derek because of the fact it took him a minute or two to actually remember how to control his limbs and wrap his arms around the boy. He also may or may not have smiled like an idiot to himself when he heard Stiles let out a massive sigh of relief at the fact that Derek hugged him back. Even though Derek was glad Stiles was done avoiding him, Derek was still very much so confused.

"So I'm guessing you aren't a hugger?" Stiles asked playfully whilst being the first to pull away from the hug as began taking a seat on the bed. You could tell he was trying to be playful but the erratic heartbeat let Derek know he was more than nervous and borderline scared. Derek hoped more than anything that he wasn't still afraid of him.

"Laura and Erica try but I usually refuse; I do have an image to maintain after all." Derek responded by just as playful trying to ease the tension.

"Isaac looks like a hugger, probably a cuddler also." Stiles said after letting out a small laugh which Derek returned.

"He really is, but you didn't come in here to talk about Isaac and hugs did you?"

Stiles stopped messing with the hinges on the bed to look at Derek and Derek would have been nervous if Stiles' heartbeat hadn't started to slow back down to normal.

"No it's not, I wanted to know if we could like bond? I know it sounds stupid but with Scott we used to sit around playing video games, go to the movies, maybe get some pizza and froyo then have a Netflix movie marathon whilst eating junk food. We would talk about everything which is like nothing really but still it made me feel okay in a way I guess. It took me out of my head a little bit in a way I heard drugs can but I didn't want to do drugs so I had Scott…" as Stiles began to drift off Derek sighed because the kid was noticeably embarrassed about all of this.

"But now you don't have Scott and my sister, who tries way too hard only to make things worse, could never really be your Scott. But I can?" Derek asked not really sure if that's what Stiles was intending.

"I mean yeah…of course you wouldn't be Scott because there's only one Scott but you know I could use a friend to help out and like I look up to you and god this sounds better in my head." Stiles speaking because he was flustered at the fact he admitted that and because stupid Derek was smiling fondly at him.

"It's okay Stiles I get your point but yeah I'm off today and we can hang out and go wherever it is that would you like to go no questions asked. Don't worry about money or anything okay just let me treat you?" Reluctantly Stiles agreed and before he left he talked himself up into giving Derek another hug and this time Derek hugged him back with no hesitation.

x

Hanging out with Derek was a lot different than hanging out with Scott for many reasons, some of the more obvious reasons would have to be the simple fact that girls never slipped Scott their phone numbers on the street, waiters never paid for Scott's lunch just because he was attractive, and lastly hanging out with Scott never left Stiles feeling so insignificant. Derek's attractive, we all get it it's not like the universe needed to constantly remind him every second of his life.

Other than being called Derek's little brother, a cousin, and charity case Stiles thinks that the day was actually good. He learned that Derek eats basically raw meat (which okay gross), that Derek cheats at miniature golf (he wouldn't even use the stick, he just picked up the ball and dropped it in the hole), he learned that Derek is actually a five year old when he doesn't get his way but cheers up when you offer him ice cream.

Most importantly he learned that Derek just really, genuinely hates people. He hates large crowds, he hates people touching him, he hates people looking at him, and for the life of Stiles he can't figure out why Derek does porn. It's so intimate and as close to people that you could get and so after they got back from their day and were out on the balcony while Derek smoked a blunt Stiles asked.

"I have to ask this Derek so don't get mad or offended or anything but I just really need to know. If you hate people so much why do you do porn?" Stiles was glad when he noticed that Derek wasn't tense about the subject at all, in fact it looked as if he was relieved Stiles finally wanted to talk about it.

"I have anger issues, the anger builds up and fuels me but sometimes I just need to let it go and working out just doesn't do it for me; it's not enough of a release. So I took a job doing one film at first to see how I liked it and it did the trick. I was able to be as ruthless or gentle as I wanted and more importantly I got to be in control. I was able to control what a person did and how they felt for once in my life I was the one in control and I like the feeling Stiles I really do. Besides sex feels good so why not?" He flashed Stiles a wide smile that made Stiles realize how much of a cheeky bastard Derek really was.

"I guess that makes sense, but I thought you hated people?" Stiles asked Derek this question but deep down he wanted to know how Derek could be so exposed for so many people; so vulnerable.

"I hate humans because of what they are capable of, because of what they've done to me and the people that I loved; but when I'm doing a screen or something it's like I'm taking back my dominance over them. It's my way of saying I don't care what anyone has to say about me and I'm not afraid of what anyone can do because in that moment I'm in charge. In that one moment I can make a person feel as much pain as humans have made me feel over the years, or I can be gentle and let them know that I'm above the rest of humanity. It's my choice, for that one moment it's my choice."

Stiles was grateful that Derek stopped talking because he was getting butterflies in his stomach the more Derek explained and he had no idea why. Derek was a lot more profound and damaged than Stiles could ever imagine and something about him saying the word humanity and humans over and over again just made Stiles wonder if Derek didn't consider himself human. If maybe he's been hurt so much that he doesn't even classify himself in the same category as everyone else and if that's true then maybe Stiles didn't have it so bad after all.

Stiles noticed Derek looking at him and knows that Derek is merely trying to figure Stiles out, wondering why he instantly got quiet but Stiles needs to keep these thoughts to himself. He can't let Derek know that he's affecting him, but what Stiles can do is not need to be babysat any longer, he needs to go out and find something that makes him feel in control.


	6. This is only the beginning

Stiles could see it now, the headlines would read: RUNAWAY TEEN GOES DOWN IN HISTORY AS BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO ACTUALLY DIE FROM EMBARRASSMENT. It was pretty much the inevitable because you see Stiles was caught by Derek shaking his booty in Derek's mirror singing. It gets worse, Stiles may or may not have been naked whilst in the process of trying on Derek's shirts, and in response Derek may or may not have ran out of the house.

You see this was all Laura's fault…again! She had woken Stiles up just an hour before hand letting him know that she and Derek were gone for the day and to make his self at home; that Isaac may drop by later to check up on him but if he needs anything to let one of them know. Stiles informed her he was an infant and could take care of his self but appreciated her being concerned. She then proceeded to tell Stiles to get some of Derek's clothes seeing as he had ran out of boxers and clean shirts.

Derek was supposed to be gone, he was supposed to be at work having sex or something, that's the only reason why Stiles took a shower and walked into Derek's room naked. He didn't have any under clothes to put on and seeing as though he was dry and ALONE in the house he felt no need to keep the towel on. So while he was going through the drawers making fun of Derek's ridiculously tight black shirts, Stiles decided it would be a good idea to mock Derek's clothes by singing "If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy…"

What Stiles wasn't prepared for was a very shocked Derek to be staring at Stiles gapping like a damn fish out of water. Derek didn't even have the decency to cough awkwardly like normal people did, no he just had to stand there with his eyes all wide in horror just so he could make Stiles blush even harder and want his untimely death more than ever.

Oh but it gets much better because Derek licked his lips nervously and his bare chest just seemed to start glistening out of the blue like fate was trying to test him or tell him something and Stiles' teenage and very hormonal body reacted against his will. Derek's eyes flickered down and then clinched his jaws turning immediately on his heels proceeding to leave. He stopped at the door and asked in a very low tone:

"Stiles how old are you again?" like it almost pained him.

Confused, shocked, and mortified still Stiles was barely able to squeak out "seventeen" but once he did Derek nodded again and ran out of the apartment. Stiles kids you not, Derek literally ran out of the fucking apartment and why did he even come back in the first place? Oh that's right because after Stiles called Laura to complain she apologized a thousand times and proclaimed that Derek didn't work on Tuesday which meant he probably had just gone for a run. Apparently since Derek is always half naked she didn't really think anything of it.

This is why Stiles is seriously starting to hate Laura, he is now convinced she is working for his father and instead of allowing his father to kill him, the old man is changing tactics and wants Stiles to commit suicide and let's just say it's working…beautifully.

x

By lunch Stiles desperately needed to get out of the apartment because it was too quiet, the wooden floors were making too much noise and Stiles kept anticipating his father to come in at any moment and scold him for being foolish. He could hear his father's slurred speech now with red around his eyes and a wobbly step.

"You stupid little faggot, it's what you are I bet it's what you are. What girl would want you? Your mother didn't want you that's for sure, she rather have died a painful death than to spend another second having to be your mother and I don't blame her you stupid little faggot. You see what you did? The only people to actually want you, to take your little ungrateful ass in has left you and why? Because they took one look at your horrific body and you mortified them, what were you thinking? Honestly? I should hit you just because you're so fucking stupid…come back here Stiles. Stop running away from me, come back here, come back to me, Stiles? Stiles?"

Stiles came out of his daze once he realized arms were around him and flinched so hard he fell off the couch and immediately drew his legs up to his chest, using he arms to block his face out of instinct. Only to feel strong and calloused hands pulling his arms away to reveal a saddened Derek; his green eyes piercing right through Stiles making the young man want to whimper into the guys' arms but knowing he couldn't.

His father's words kept replaying back in his mind over and over again, words strung together from Stiles' subconscious based on factual interactions that he's shared with his old man. And even though Derek was a scary guy he looked so vulnerable in that moment as he kept his eyes on Stiles and his massive hands on the teens small and fragile wrists. Refusing to let go, and refusing to allow the boy to be alone.

But being alone is all Stiles wanted to be because his mind kept showing images of his father in front of him, the teen knew that his father wasn't there but he couldn't help it. His father kept standing in the corner scolding him, he kept launching out at him from behind Derek's massive back and he kept trying to reach Stiles but he couldn't. Because Derek was right there holding onto Stiles and his father couldn't touch him, but it doesn't mean that what his father had been saying to him for years wasn't any less true.

Stiles was worthless, he was undeserving of love, ugly, skinny, awkward, broken, alone, and the list can go on for days and days. But one thing his father said that wasn't true was that he was stupid, and Stiles was not stupid he was smart enough to runaway wasn't he? He was smart enough to know that if he had stayed any longer with his father then he would've been dead by now whether by his father's hands or his own. But those are dark thoughts that he had meant to push away, they were dark thoughts meant to be locked up in a vault deep within Stiles' mind never to be seen again.

Because you see those thoughts are what made Stiles want to see his mother again without any regard to his own life. He just wanted to remember what she smelled like, remember what it felt like to be held by her, to be kissed by her and tucked in at night. He just wanted to remember his mother but he couldn't because every time he closed his eyes his father plagued his mind.

The way he touched him, yelled at him, abused him, and looked at him like he was scum or worse. It was all too much and Derek still hadn't let him go and yet for some reason Stiles was going limp in the man's arms. He was crying and had been putting up a fight but with Derek rubbing circles on his wrist he can't seem to do anything because the fight was being sucked out of him.

It wasn't fair at all, he had nothing but horrible memories left in his mind, he was afraid for his life, he had no idea if he fucked things up with Derek and Laura, and the worst part of it all was that he couldn't even be mad because he could no longer struggle. Almost as if just by Derek touching him, all his worries were melting away and Stiles didn't know how to process this information.

"It's not fair…" whispered out Stiles, so low that if Derek wasn't a werewolf he would not have heard at all.

"What's not fair?" Derek whispered back, feeling stupid for whispering but knowing Stiles needed this.

"I can't remember her, why can't I remember her but I can remember him?" Stiles spat out 'him' like it was venom. "I can remember everything about him, like his clothes, his hair, his smell, his grip on my arm, his harsh touch, his raspy voice, and condescending smile, all of it. But I can't remember anything about my mother's scent. What shampoo did she use Derek? How did she wear her hair? What was her favorite dessert? I can't fucking remember her favorite dessert but I can remember…I can remember…fuck! And I want to be mad at myself for not remembering, I want to hurt myself for not remember but you're here holding my fucking wrists and I feel all numb and drained and I can't do anything but cry and fuck! It's not fair."

Stiles was a sobbing mess by the end of his rant and Derek could nothing more than rub soothing circles on Stiles' back as the boy cried onto his shoulder. Derek looked over the teen's head to flash blue eyes at Isaac who had been there the whole time staring in shock. Isaac flashed golden eyes of his own trying not to whimper from the emotion he could feel being given off of Derek and even Stiles. Isaac and Derek knew better than most that life wasn't fair and instead of dealing with their issues they've managed to suppress them with drugs, sex, and turning to their wolves for support. How the hell were they supposed to help Stiles through this without damaging him even more?

x

Stiles awoke a little disoriented and startled as he realized the pillow he was drooling on and clinching tightly wasn't a pillow at all but instead was a broad chest, a chest that just had to have belonged to Derek. With a groan and muttering about how his life sucked ass he pushed himself off of Derek's chest and proceeded to get up from couch.

Looking down, Stiles sighed in defeat as he noticed Derek's shirt was covered in now dry snot, tears, and drool all belonging to none other than Stiles which was just lovely. He was honestly so drained from crying himself to sleep earlier that he didn't even have it in him to feel sorry for himself.

It helped the fact that Derek didn't seem to mind, after Stiles sat up he merely shrugged the shirt off and threw it in the washing machine before proceeding to go back to his room and when he emerged Stiles was still in the same spot gapping at Derek for putting on the same black and tight T shirt that started this whole mess. And with a knowingly smug smile the older man then proceeded to take the seat beside Stiles again, placing his own hands in his lap while staring at the boy sideways.

"I'm not sure if I want to punch you, thank you or merely ask that you help me forget…" Stiles trailed off as he noticed Derek's eyes getting larger and the panic in his tone.

"Help you forget how?" it was Derek's turn to trail off as uncertainty hit him like a wave.

"God not with sex like weed or pills or something…jesus what's with this family and sex?" Stiles said with a roll of his eyes no venom in his voice what so ever and Derek sighed with relief internally whilst providing Stiles with a snort as he got up and went into the kitchen.

"I can't help you forget Stiles, trust me I've tried but what I can do is numb the pain a little bit. I can make all the bad thoughts seem like nothing more than distant memories for a while at least."

Stiles got up from the couch to walk into the kitchen where Derek had a bowl out and was already proceeding to place weed in it. Stiles could do nothing more than scrunch up his nose at the smell, he was beginning to get used to the smell of weed even beginning to like the smell of it also.

"So your suggestion on helping me forget or heal is by getting me high?" Stiles asked a little hesitantly.

Derek merely rolled his eyes and went to the freezer to pull out a bottle of Svedka.

"No, I'm going to get you high and drunk then we are going to go out with Laura, Erica, Boyd, and Isaac tonight at my Uncle's club and you are going to have fun. If you want to dance you will dance with one of us, and you won't think about your father or your past or life in general because you'll be too fucked up and too in the moment to process anything else." Derek said while pushing the bowl into Stiles' hand and leading the way to Derek's bedroom instead of the balcony like normally.

Stiles' heart began to race immediately just remembering that the last time he was in Derek's room the man saw him practically naked and ran out on him in terror. God why couldn't they just go to the balcony?

"Stop thinking…I can practically hear your heartbeat all the way from over here, just sit down on the bed and light that up while I put a towel under the door. We're going to hotbox and get drunk and talk about feelings because I promise you once tonight is over you won't remember a thing anyways. So feel free to discuss whatever it is you need or want to talk about okay?"

Stiles nodded even though Derek couldn't see because his back was turned but when Derek responded with a murmured 'good' Stiles merely shook it off as to hearing things.

They were on their second bowl when Stiles got up enough courage to actually start talking because he had to mentally prepare himself for what it was that he had truly wanted to say.

"I'm tired of being scared, I'm tired of my mind seeing things that aren't there and making me feel more afraid than I should be. I wish more than anything that I could just be normal, that I could go to high school with my friends and not have to worry about anything. That I could just get in trouble, stay out late, get high and drunk and grounded when my parents find out. I just want…I want to be happy you know?" Derek was quiet for a minute before he responded.

"Why do you think being normal will make you happy? Normality doesn't exist, neither does seeking happiness because what is normal and accustomed to you may not be the same for another person. Society has filled our heads since birth about what is acceptable or unacceptable, right or wrong, normal or outcast, good or evil, human or monster. I've never lived up to the social norm and nor would I ever want to because then I wouldn't be me, I would merely be a product of society and how can one truly be happy with that? With being what everyone expects you to be? When you chase happiness you'll never be happy because you'll constantly being chasing it, it's an unobtainable object but what you can be is happy. Because being happy is the here and now, like right now I'm sitting in my room smoking and drinking with a new friend and I'm happy. Nothing else really matters right now, there's nothing else but you and me in this room and that makes me happy."

Stiles was thankful that he was too high and tipsy to read too much into what Derek had just admitted and instead he took another shot and mentally evaluated what it was that the older guy had just said. Is Stiles' problem really the fact that he's trying to hard to be something he knows nothing about? Is he trying to please some imaginary concept without having any regard for his own self? What makes Stiles happy? God Stiles had no idea what made him happy, besides getting away from his father.

"Runaway made me happy, being found kind of scared me though. Cooking for you guys and you loving the food made me happy, going out with Laura made me happy as well but that guy grabbing me mad me afraid. Smoking with you makes me happy, and so does talking to you, and hugging you, and just everything with you so I guess my happiness is starting now? Is that what you're saying? That if I want to move on from what I'm afraid of I just need to focus more on what makes me happy?" Derek answered almost immediately.

"Exactly, when I went through all that stuff before I was stuck was so fucking afraid Stiles. At first I tried to hide it but then that just made me so angry because I felt as if I shouldn't have to hide who I am or be afraid of anyone was just because I'm me. So I decided to do what made me happy, I decided to listen to my inner self versus my fucked up head and it turned out for the best; Laura might disagree but she doesn't know me like I know me. You know?" And oddly enough Stiles did know; he knew exactly what Derek meant.

The two of them didn't talk anymore, they finished smoking and stopped drinking after Stiles began to laugh uncontrollably. The teen also tried to scold Derek for not being drunk, but the scowl turned into an adorable scrunched up face and his mean voice turned into a kitten like noise and Derek couldn't help but tilt his head back to laugh and coo. Stiles wasn't even embarrassed he was just glad that he was able to put that smile on the man's face.

x

Two hours later Stiles found himself having a fruity drink in the VIP section in the same club as the other day. Isaac and Boyd are listening to Stiles talk about animal mating rituals while Erica caresses Derek on the dance floor. Laura is talking with some of her classmates and it just seems okay, Stiles is happy and he is in the moment.

And it just so happens that another moment passes by and a song change occurs; a song change that makes Stiles want to get up and dance even though he has no idea what song is actually playing all he knows is that his foot can't stop tapping to the beat and he feels slightly free. Granted it's probably the liquor and drugs talking but still, he felt free none the less.

So he stands up, closes his eyes, and sways to the music mentally apologizing to Isaac for spilling his drink all over him. And he can't seem to bring himself to care about anything else but this song, this one song with an upbeat rhythm that makes him want to roll his hips to the music and let his arms sway above his head.

His not sure why or how but he knows Derek's looking at him, his eyes are closed but deep down he knows Derek is watching him and that Derek is smiling with a hint of pride in his eyes. Stiles can't explain it but for some reason that makes him even happier, to know that he is doing something right; finally being able to accept that his father was wrong when he said that Stiles didn't deserve happiness, or that his mother left him to get away from him because Derek is here.

Derek is here smiling at Stiles being happy and in the pit of the his gut he knows the older man would do anything for Stiles; as well as Erica, Laura, Isaac and even Boyd. So Stiles dances to the song, and he dances to the next song, and when he feels Isaac and Erica joining him in dancing he doesn't open his eyes or stop. When he hears Laura laughing in his ear at a joke Boyd told he doesn't open his eyes to see but instead smiles harder.

But when he feels Derek's hands on his hips dancing behind him his breath catches for a moment and his tilts his head back to rest it on the man's chest again. He then opens his eyes to see Derek smiling a wide and wolfish grin at him and Stiles can do nothing more than smile back even if the room and time had stopped in that moment. And when Stiles closes his eyes again and continues dancing and hears Derek faintly say 'I'm proud you,' well the feeling that Stiles received after that isn't for anyone else to know.

Because Stiles finally figured it out that being happy could be possible, but he also knew that what he went through with his father is deeper than what a one night of happiness can fix. He knows now that this is only the beginning for more things to come, only the beginning for his next chapter in life.


	7. Home

Things were looking up for Stiles, he had managed to go a full week without flinching, he actually bonded with Erica a little bit, and attempted jogging with Derek a couple times throughout the week. Of course the jogging ended up with Stiles' cheeks bright pink as he got caught ogling Derek's ass as they were running but then again…teenage boy. Derek really should've known it was bound to happen.

And now here Stiles is leaving the apartment for the first time on his own, Isaac wanted some snacks from the store and Stiles said he would go and reluctantly Isaac allowed him to. It's not Stiles' fault he refused to alert Isaac in on the fact that Derek and Laura were wary of Stiles going anywhere alone. But in all honesty the teen had no idea why the siblings were so fucking paranoid; Stiles thought he was the one with all the trust issues.

But no, Derek and Laura definitely were too parental at times always telling him 'don't talk to strangers', 'don't answer random questions', 'always trust your instincts,' and blah blah blah it was so weird but Stiles has grown to realize that it's just how they are he guesses.

So yes, this will be Stiles' first time exploring the city on his own and everything just seemed better for some reasons. The sun seemed brighter, the buildings seemed taller, the streets seemed noisier, and he couldn't help the bubbly feeling in his gut or the silly grin plastered all over his face.

As he was heading two blocks over to the corner store he began to imagine his new life here, imagine himself coming home from work back to the apartment. Or coming home from his classes like Laura does, and passing by the same people over and over again without flinching; without looking over his shoulder for his father worrying that today might be the day.

He could see himself developing a pattern and loving every minute of it and as he entered the store he could see himself getting to know the store clerk by name. He wanted to be one of those people who had a special order that the clerk knew by pattern and heart; the cashier saying 'we have your order up already Stiles' whenever he would walk in. Yes, this is exactly what Stiles wanted and more because this was his new beginning, this was his fresh start and he was taking every second of his life moment by moment and day by day willing his body and mind to get better.

And he did feel better, at least remotely better over the past week anyways but all good things must come to an end because he felt himself take two steps back in his journey to recovery when he had bumped into a man whilst trying to reach for the chips on the top shelf. Stiles stumbled back a little bit and apologized immediately to the man in the leather jacket who was wearing all black. The guy had little to no facial hair, blue eyes, and short hair. It wasn't the clothes that set Stiles cringe on the inside, it was the grin that made all his hairs stand up on his body basically screaming 'stranger danger! Stranger danger!"

And the guy was just standing there, not blinking or speaking just merely smiling showing all of his teeth as if that meant something important.

"Sorry 'bout that sir, I've always been clumsy." And Stiles mentally cursed his self for his voice squeaking a little bit.

The guy reached out a hand and Stiles flinched away out of habit, the man then proceeded to take a step forward as Stiles took two steps back promptly backing into waiting hands. He turned with a jolt to see a brown skinned man standing right behind him looking young in the face but the scars on his hands made Stiles believe he had one hell of a story to tell. The smirk was not on his face like the other guy had and Stiles tried to step around them.

"Sorry about that, I was telling the other guy I'm clumsy." And with a nervous laugh Stiles tried his hardest to keep walking and not have a panic attack in the middle of the store. God he needed a cell phone so he could call Derek. He really needed Derek right about now, because his heart was beating faster and his palms were starting to sweat and the two guys had him almost cornered in aisle fucking two of the store.

"No worries, the name is Chris what's your name?" The older guys' voice should have been smooth but to Stiles it just made him seem like some sort of predator, some sort of person his father would send after him and that in itself made Stiles want Derek even more.

"I just need to get home." Stiles tried to move past the younger gentleman but the guy stepped in front of Stiles to block his passage, arms now folded across his chest.

"Hey we're just trying to get to know you, no worries or rush we won't hurt you. We know everyone here and we haven't seen you around before, what's your name?" The younger began to speak but Stiles just needed to crawl in a corner and get his breathing under control. He had to blink five times just to make the image of his father go away.

"My mother was wise in warning me not to talk to strangers so I don't; also the people I live with really wouldn't like you talking to me either." Stiles tried again and Chris put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well your mother seems like a wise woman, but we're not really strangers because I think I've seen you two around before. You and your roommate jog in the park a few blocks over right? You and an older man, that's sweet of you two. My daughter tries to get me to exercise but I rather hunt. Do you like to hunt Stiles?"

Every alarm was going off in Stiles' mind at the same time and he wasn't quite sure why this guy was stalking him and Derek but he was sure they weren't hunters. Stiles has seen hunter's before and these guys did not fit the bill. Stiles has always been good at judging people from first glance, a skill he picked up when having to learn his father's mood swings.

But Stiles must have been quiet too long because the two men took another step closer to him in unison.

"I don't know." Is all Stiles could muster out and god when did the store get so out? Have the shelves always been this close together because it was getting harder to breathe, like a lack of oxygen or something.

"We don't like liars, we just want to get to know you and welcome you to the neighborhood. Tell your friend when you get home that Chris Argent says hello." And Argent…that name was plagued to the back of Stiles' mind for some reason. He knew that name, he knew that Argent name in connection with Derek but Stiles couldn't do anything.

His legs felt weak and as Chris Argent and the other guy left with nothing more than a creepy ass smirk Stiles felt his legs give way as he pushed his legs against his chest and hugged his body close. The shelves kept getting closer and closer together and it was so hot, god it was hot which much be why there was no air. His chest was tightening up and he was having a fucking panic attack and Derek wasn't here to make it all better.

Derek wasn't around to tell him it was going to be okay and hug him slowly taking the pain away, in that Derek-y way that he manages to do it in. Just a simply touch and Stiles feels all his worries drain out of his body like magic or something and he needs that right now. He needs something…something other than the clerk trying to shake him and get him up.

Something other than the soft whispers of people walking by, gossiping about him and some even laughing. What he needs is the smooth voice currently telling him to open his eyes, and Stiles does so immediately knowing it's none other than Derek. Derek who has the biggest frown on his face upon seeing Stiles in his current state.

Stiles knows he's a mess, his eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks are stained with dried tears and pink, his lips are swollen and red from biting on them out of fear, his arms and legs are trembling as he tries to remind himself how to breathe again and he hates that Derek has to see him like this.

But he doesn't mind when Derek picks him up bridal style making Stiles cling onto his neck and bury his head into the older man's neck for comfort. Stiles doesn't even mind the murmurs of the people around him because Derek is soothing him on back in the way only Derek does, and Derek is telling him to close his eyes claiming that everything will be okay and Stiles believes him so he does.

x

Derek was so glad that Stiles was finally waking up because his wolf was going crazy trying to find out what the hell happened that broke the boy down the way he had been in the store. He wanted to kill every last person in that store who was laughing at Stiles versus helping and it was just another reminder of why he hates humans.

Stiles was now sitting up on the couch afraid to touch the brown liquor bottle Derek had on the table, he kept seeing flashes of his father and the way he would drink and hurt Stiles and the teen just couldn't shake it. He was glad that Derek had a high tolerance for alcohol because the last thing Stiles wanted was to be afraid of Derek. So instead of taking a sip of drink he settled on laying his head in Derek's lap allowing the man to rub his hair and temple soothingly whilst the teen talked about what happened.

"So…thank you for coming to get me and sorry for having you know a panic attack. That was more than embarrassing." Stiles began to say trying to lighten his voice to mask the fear and embarrassment.

Derek snorted at Stiles' attempt.

"Never apologize for something you can't control, it's a part of you and of course I came to get you if it wasn't for Laura…" Derek had already said too much.

It really was Laura who helped Derek save Stiles because she was the one who called him saying she had a bad feeling and that Derek needed to check in on Stiles. Of course that's when the man found out that Isaac let Stiles go to the store alone, and so Derek ran as fast as he could to get to the store and that's when he found the boy in the state he was in.

But Derek was still kicking himself mentally because he didn't know anything was wrong, Isaac didn't know anything was wrong but somehow it was Laura who felt the bond. It was Laura who could feel Stiles' distress almost as if Stiles was pack but that's ridiculous because Stiles couldn't be pack. Stiles was only here temporarily and he didn't know about werewolves and Derek wasn't supposed to let him in but Laura felt it. Laura just knew, because she had accepted Stiles the moment Derek brought him home on that cold night and Derek was visibly torn at the thought of this.

Yet Derek didn't let Stiles see his inner battle, he merely allowed the teen to continue his story on the events that had just happened.

"A guy cornered me in the aisle, he and another man who both claimed to be hunter's said there was name was Chris Argent and that he says hey…I think he's been watching us for a week whilst we go jogging together and I felt so scared…" Derek began to soothe Stiles now, whispering that it will all be all right as the teen began to cry.

But Derek new it wasn't all going to be okay because hunter's were in town and for no reason at all. If the Argent's were luring Derek out it only meant trouble was around the corner and Derek just couldn't do that to Stiles. He couldn't afford putting him at risk just to let something bad happen to him, not when he claimed to protect the teen. He was also angry at himself for allowing Stiles to almost get hurt all because the Argent's wanted to send him a message and Derek wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

"God Derek I was so scared for no reason, the shelves just keep enclosing around me and it got really hot all of a sudden. But I told him nothing…I promise I didn't say anything…." Derek shushed him again and began to ease some of the discomfort from the limp teen in lap allowing the boy to drift off asleep once again.

x  
Stiles had no idea why Derek felt guilty about the store incident it's not like Derek sent that Chris guy to scare him nor could Derek have known what was going on. But it's been two days and Stiles notices the difference in the guy, he's more withdrawn and his mood swings are unbearable. He's been drinking and smoking more and is pouring himself into his 'work' and yet he still seems so aggressive. And Stiles could have sworn he heard Derek and Laura growling at each other last night.

Speaking of Laura she seems different also, it's almost as if she's a little scared of Derek herself or certainly more tense. Stiles isn't sure how to act, he's flinching over nothing and finding himself trying to please the siblings more than usual. He keeps reminding himself that Derek isn't his father and won't hurt him but if his own sister is nervous around the guy then how is Stiles supposed to act?

"Stiles? Would you like to go to my class today?" Laura's voice pulled Stiles out of his thoughts and that was another thing that Laura was doing. She not so subtly keeps insisting Stiles and her do things together so that he isn't alone with Derek; which really is making Stiles feel calm right about now.

"Of course Laura I'm ready when you are." She gave a gentle smile which couldn't hide her sad eyes and proceeded to head to the living room where she was waiting for Stiles to put his shoes on.

"Here let me wrap this scarf around you, I found it yesterday and thought of you. There now you look older and more sophisticated." She gave another gentle smile and this time it look much more genuine than the first.

"Aw now I get it, you're only bringing me along so I can act as your arm candy." Stiles said sarcastically trying to lighten the mood, and the heart felt laugh that Laura gave him in response warmed Stiles completely.

Laura wasn't so bad at all, yes she is crazy at times and tries way too hard but her heart is always in the right place and she means well. So while Derek is going through whatever it is that he's going through maybe getting to know Laura won't be so bad after all.

x

The walk to University was anything but boring, it was exciting in a way because Stiles and Laura were getting on pretty well. Stiles learned a lot about the Hale siblings and shared information with Laura that he hadn't even admitted to himself yet.

"I'm scared." Stiles all but blurted out about five minutes into their walk to campus; Laura gave him a look over her shoulder but remain silent so he could finish.

"Like all the time, and every time I think I'm making progress and getting better stuff like what happened at the club happens or like the store incident a couple days ago. And I have nightmares, I see my father sometimes and I read stories about people in countries who are tortured, who are forced to be slaves, and worse. I read and see all of these horrible things happening and I hate the fact that I'm terrified of my father. I hate that I can't move past all the psychical and mental abuse that I've endured when in comparison to thousands and even millions of other people I have it a thousand times better."

Stiles took a moment to take a breath and Laura decided to finish his thought for him.

"And that's why you're still scared all the time because you don't understand why it happened to you, and you don't understand why you can't move past it. You want to be happy and be able to see the silver lining within your own life but your mind won't allow you to be content and it just frustrates you more than anything. Right? But Stiles never compare your own torment to that of someone else's. Just because you don't have it as bad as someone else doesn't mean what you're going through isn't tough on you and it doesn't mean you have to down play your hurt." Stiles looked at Laura with wide eyes.

"That's exactly it…maybe you are good at this psychology stuff." The both laughed freely.

"You flatter me Stiles but do you know why I got into psychology? Part of it was for Derek, after everything he's been through it's hard seeing him so with drawn I just wanted to find a way to help him move on. But the other part is because of my sister Cora, she's a year younger than you and always looked up to Derek. She and I got along but she always admired Derek the most and when he started to change it was hard on her. She began to mimic Derek's actions and for a while there she was so lost; Derek blamed himself and it wasn't pretty.

'I know that I push but I tend to forget that I'm not dealing with my siblings; Derek and Cora are let's just say 'hard to convince' sometimes. They need that extra push but you, you don't need that. In a way that makes you stronger because you want to actually change and I'm sorry for everything that I've done that made you feel uncomfortable. I really am sorry and I'm glad that you're okay; even if you don't think you're okay, in retrospect, you are indeed okay and that's all I want. "

Stiles and Laura then shared a smile before walking the rest of the way to campus in silence, comfortable silence.

The campus was massive, lots of streets and sidewalks, tons of people and large classrooms. Laura's first lecture class was in a room that held 100 students, and one little professor who seemed to remember people by their last names if he remembered their names at all. Her psychology class was interesting; they started a new chapter on Neuropsychology which delved into the mind and biology aspect of psychology which was very convenient.

Her second class was much smaller and Stiles even found himself making a friend after the class was ordered to do group work. It was fun seeing Laura in her element, she really had a vibrant personality, very outgoing, and always willing to share an idea. It made Stiles gain newfound respect for her and he was enjoying hanging out so much he was more than willing to have lunch when she offered.

But lunch was different, it was different because their uncle was there the one Derek had mentioned before. Peter. Stiles could tell automatically that Peter didn't like him or maybe he just didn't trust him, either way as soon as they sat down Peter scrunched up his noise in distaste once Stiles sat across from him in the booth.

"Peter this is Stiles who is living with us, and Stiles this is my uncle Peter who owns the club we go to a lot." Stiles offered his hand and Peter took it instantly, holding onto it tightly and sniffing slightly almost as if trying to catch a whiff of Stiles' scent. Which was odd but Stiles didn't mention it he just tried to keep the fact that his was mildly uncomfortable to himself.

"So Stiles I've heard so much about you like your little run in with Chris Argent a few days ago; so tell me how does one get cornered by two hunter's and live to tell the tale." Peter asked resting his chin on his hands. Stiles wasn't sure if the older guy was mocking him or not but either way he didn't appreciate the tone.

"That stalker was asking questions and when I wouldn't answer he left and told me to tell Derek he said hello. I'm just surprised Derek hasn't gone looking for the guy by now." Stiles answer honestly, mentally thanking Laura for the gentle rub on his thigh to keep from feeling too overwhelmed by the judging looks coming from Peter.

"Hmm, and why didn't you suggest calling the cops?" Peter raised an eyebrow as he watched Stiles visibly flinch and freeze at the question.

"Well Derek can handle himself and I know he'll always look out for me and besides I don't trust cops so…" Stiles knew he failed keeping the quiver out of his voice but he couldn't help it the thought of the cops finding out who he is and thus sending him home scared him more than anything.

Laura must have sensed his discomfort because she quickly jumped into the conversation promptly changing it to something else.

"So Peter have you talked to your nephew lately? I'm sure he'd loved to see you." Laura said smiling and Stiles noticed the little eye conversation the two relatives were having.

"I did actually a few hours ago to be exact, he and I are going to plan a little trip home for a mini reunion I think he needs to be surrounded by family right now; you know people he can actually trust and who knows him." Peter was clearly talking about Stiles and while the teen didn't mind so much when Boyd made the exact same claim to Stiles a while ago it made him angry hearing it after everything that has happened.

"Look Peter you obviously don't like me and for what reason I don't know but I didn't seek Derek out he found me. I was lying on the ground homeless and he practically saved my life like he has been doing constantly since that night and I am forever grateful. I know Derek and Laura and the rest of you guys have been through so much and you may have well deserved trust issues but don't take your hatred out on me because I don't deserve that. Derek is great, like really great and so is Laura and I would rather die than hurt them or have them be hurt and frankly they're the only family I have left so please…just stop."

What started off as a shaky and unsure rant ended with great confidence and a dimpled smile appeared across Laura's cheeks while Peter seemed as if he was trying to listen to Stiles' soul or something. It made the teen shift in his seat with unease while he took a sip of his soda.

"You may be convinced that you only want what's best for Derek and Laura but at the end of the day you're nothing more than a liability. Why would Derek want to keep you around for much longer when you do nothing for him? You're just an expense and Derek doesn't have the heart to tell you that himself."

Stiles wasn't sure if Peter had said anything else because he was currently out of the door, using his sleeve to wipe the tears from his eyes and ignoring Laura's pleading calls of his name. He began to pick up his pace not wanting Peter's words to affect him but he knew it was a moot point by now because his cheeks were burning red, snot was falling from his nose and the tears just wouldn't stop pouring.

It was a cold walk home as the wind was blowing in his face at an unnecessary speed, and he was lucky that Laura made him put on the scarf. He was glad that Laura didn't follow him back to the apartment because all he wanted to do was talk to Derek and hear his side of the story. If the big guy was really tired of him like his father was, then Stiles would leave but not before he heard it from the guys mouth personally.

"Derek…Derek where are you? Derek…" Stiles was cut off by a grumpy looking Derek who obviously just woke up. Derek was frowning out of confusion until he got one look at Stiles and immediately rushed to the teen's side wrapping him in his bare, yet warm, arms trying to protect him from some nonexistent enemy.

"What happened Stiles? Are you hurt?" Stiles tried to muffle his chuckle after seeing and hearing Derek's concern, it also let him exhale a sigh he didn't even know he was holding.

"I need you to be honest Derek…am I in your way? Like am I an unnecessary expense to you?" Stiles spoke directly into Derek's chest not caring his words were muffled because he couldn't look the man in the eyes in case of rejection.

Derek pulled Stiles apart from him so that he could examine the teen directly, a slight frown upon his face.

"Of course not, why the hell would you think that? Is that what Laura said? Is that why she's not with you?" Derek then proceeded to pull Stiles back to his chest and rocked him back and forth like a bear does to their cub.

"No, it was your uncle." Stiles couldn't even finish his sentence because Derek was now scowling and a scowling Derek was mildly hot.

"Don't listen to Peter, he has more issues than I do and very few outlets. He likes to appear to be together but he's not, not really anyways and he thinks anyone outside of family is a threat automatically. Which is why I have no idea why he owns a nightclub that's constantly filled with strangers but then again it's Peter." Derek then proceeded to lead Stiles to the couch and laid down with his legs open so Stiles could fit in between them, leaning against the broad chest seeking comfort and warmth.

"If you say so…"

Is all Stiles could respond with because how the hell was he supposed to say how he really felt. How Peter made Stiles feel like Stiles' father made him feel, or how Stiles began thinking that maybe he was just getting in the way. The hopeless teen runaway with daddy issues needs to be rescued time and time again. Stiles didn't want Derek to see him as a damsel in distress, or a child in need of coddling or to be babied.

He wanted to grow up and show Derek and Laura that he's not the same kid shivering on the sidewalk anymore but instead he's a young man who can help them just as much as they have helped him. He just merely has to find a way to prove this to Derek, to prove to the older man that he's not a child anymore; and he will find a way to prove this before Derek can get bored with him.

But what Stiles didn't know was that Derek was avoiding him on purpose because he couldn't control his temper. The thought of losing Stiles or Stiles getting hurt because of who Derek was just made the werewolf angry over and over again and he was taking this anger out on Laura which wasn't fair to his sister. And with the full moon coming up Derek knew he needed to be surrounded by his family to help calm his wolf out of fear of attacking Stiles by accident, and Peter had agreed to take him home but Derek didn't know Peter's intentions on making Stiles feel worthless.

The only thing Derek wants right now is for the boy in his arms to stay in his arms forever because in his arms it's safe. In his arms is home, and that's where Stiles is…he's home whether Derek wants to realize or accept it or not, this is Stiles' home now and he has to protect him. No matter what.


	8. Drugs

Drugs, Stiles has never really approved of Drugs before but at this point in time he would gladly take whatever drug out there that would make the last 48 hours seem like nothing more than a distant memory.

It all started when someone slipped something into Stiles' drink while everyone was gathered at the club. Stiles isn't even sure he remembers where he got the drink from or who gave it to him but what he does know is that somebody put something in it.

He began to feel the effects around midnight because there was a tingly feeling in the pit of his stomach and it kind of jolted throughout his entire body. All he could do was spin around in circles to the music with his eyes closed and pray that the tingles wouldn't stop flowing; he honestly had never experienced a better feeling.

That is until a guy bumped into him, Stiles opened his eyes to apologize but was frozen by the sudden warmth of passion mixed with the tingles after the strange blond guy touched his arm. The need for more contact was immediate, because Stiles could nothing else but want and crave more of the feeling. His mind was screaming 'touchmetouchtouchmetouchme' and as a person who is afraid of being touched to actually crave psychical contact blew Stiles' mind.

And the next thing Stiles knows he's kissing this blue eyed, blond haired bloke in the middle of the club; desperately needed more of his skin to be touched. And the older guy obliged happily, kissing the teen back with ferocity and slipping a massive hand up the boy's shirt whilst rubbing circles on his skin. Stiles thought he was going to die if he didn't get more of that, he was no longer in control and while a part of him wanted to cry and hide in a corner the majority of him just needed more of everything.

Everything was intense, the guy was pulling Stiles to the bathroom trying to unbutton his pants along the way and that's when something in Stiles snapped and he broke the kiss trying to pull away. But then there were hands on his waist and a raspy low voice speaking in his ear and he was so warm and the tingles were back and god it felt so good.

And that's when everything went downhill because Stiles forgot that Derek has massively good hearing because he must have heard when Stiles tried to break free from this guy and now said guy was being thrown into a bathroom. The door breaking off the hinges, swinging like it was in a storm when a group of guys ran out of the bathroom like their lives depended on it that's when Stiles called out for Derek.

It was almost comical the way Derek came immediately to Stiles after hearing his name called, touching Stiles' face and body looking for any signs of being harmed. The older guy gently buttoned the teen up and led him out of the club where the other's were anxiously waiting for the two of them almost as if they knew what was going on.

And they probably did know what was going on which was convenient because Stiles had no bloody idea, all he knew was that he couldn't stop the moan from escaping his lips as Derek's hands were holding Stiles to his body close. And Stiles didn't miss the way the older man grunted and made a small whine noise in the back of his throat after Stiles whispered (okay pretty much yelled), "touch me."

Hearing Erica, Isaac, and Laura giggle softly made Stiles remember the soft laugh he let out when the guy was sucking on his neck and it made him remember how good it felt and how much he needed to be touched. So he took Derek by surprise and yanked out of his grip in favor of the first person he saw which was Isaac.

"Touch me…" Stiles said softly into Isaac's neck, who was merely trying to hold him up. And while Isaac was highly amused the low growl Derek gave him was enough to put a damper in the mood.

"It feels so good outside tonight, I feel so free like a bird. I'm a bird Derek look I'm flying…" Stiles said laughing to himself as he spread his arms pretending them to be wings. He didn't mind at all at the fact he was slung over Derek's shoulder the entire time because the man didn't trust him on his own to 'wander around.'

"Yes Stiles you are a bird." Laura agreed clearly humoring the boy; Derek found nothing about the situation funny.

When they arrived back to the flat, Laura stripped Stiles and helped him change demanding she wouldn't tie him up like he kept asking her to and after about another hour and random slurs, the boy was finally asleep.

Derek took that moment to corner Laura and the other's in the living room.

"Why the fuck was everybody laughing?" Derek basically seethed out.

"Because Der it was funny…Stiles was finally free for the first time probably since his mother passed away." Laura tried to reason with her brother.

"That's your excuse? He was fucking drugged!" yelled Derek, quickly lowering his voice so he wouldn't wake Stiles.

Why couldn't anyone else see that if Derek hadn't noticed Stiles was missing or gotten to him in time then something bad could have happened to the boy?

"You don't think that we know that? Boyd is already back at the club going over security camera tapes to see who managed to drugged him and then we'll get it situated. But Stiles was happy tonight, did you see that fucking smile Der? Did you see the way he let you hold him and touch him and he didn't shy away? I looked into his eyes and I didn't see a troubled boy with a dark past for the first time ever." Laura was giving her brother pleading eyes but the point was moot.

"You didn't see a troubled boy in his eyes but you saw fucking Molly. I want him to be happy as well but how can he be when the world is surrounded by sick fucking humans who do that to each other." And Derek was seething again.

"Oh don't do that Derek, don't you use him as an excuse for your own problems. I love you like a brother and more but you have to stop looking for any and every excuse possible so you can be the heartless person that you want; so you can get lost in your wolf again. We're all going to basically kill whoever did that to Stiles but for right now just play it by ear ya?" Erica tried to be the voice of reason but Derek still wanted to hit something.

He finally gave up arguing and just waited for Boyd to return.

x

Derek found himself an hour later ready to kill his uncle; he didn't bother knocking on the man's door he merely broke it down and entered to stand face to face to a waiting relative.

"I assume you…" Peter couldn't finish that sentence before he was being punched in the face over and over again.

"Granted I deserved that but now that that's over can we please be civilized here?" Peter tried to reason but it was no use he was being punched again.

"Why did you drug him?" Derek finally got out, realizing his uncle would be more than willing to fight if Derek kept hitting him.

"Now that that's out of your system…I heard about a new hybrid drug from the wolfsbane flower that's being turned into a sort of liquid drug that induces heat for werewolves; basically makes them go mad and into a sex frenzy needing to get sex from whomever no matter if they're shifted or not." Peter begins…

"Shit. Werewolves don't even go into heat I don't understand how that's possible." Derek finally get's out trying to wrap his mind around everything.

"That's the problem isn't it? We don't go into heat so someone is making us go into heat and selling it on the black market. Werewolves are buying it left and right and that's why the hunters' were/are in town as we speak. I put some of the drug in Stiles' drink to see how he would respond because I wanted to make sure it wasn't too harmful to humans. He was surrounded by five werewolves I knew he would be more than okay." Responded the older man, taking a seat and using that as a sign that says he's done with the conversation.

"So if Stiles would have died you would have been okay with that?" Derek asked his anger fully returned.

"Coming from the man who was an advocate for kill all humans I didn't think you would mind. You don't care about him do you?" Peter was teasing Derek now, baiting him almost and Derek refused to fall prey to his uncle.

So turning around to leave Derek stopped at the door and whisper under his breath…

"If you touch or try to harm him again I won't stop myself next time." And before Derek could get out of hearing range he heard his uncle reply with:

"How long do you think you can play house before he turns on you and sees you for the monster that you are?"

Derek really, really hated his Uncle.

Mostly because he knew the man was right.

x

Stiles hated silence, actually he loved silence but he hated that Derek was silent. He knew the man was angry and when Derek gets angry he's loud, and growls but now he's just quiet and Stiles has no idea how to approach him. So he decides to go with honesty, walking into the living room to join him on the couch.

"Derek?" Stiles tentatively asked taking a seat beside the man.

"Not now…" was the only response.

"Do you hate me? Because I asked you to touch me?" And Stiles mentally cursed himself for that being his first question.

Derek turned to look at him mildly surprised.

"No." was the only answer after Derek managed to school his face again.

"Then why are you so distant? I don't like it." And god Stiles sounded like a heartbroken five year old girl but truth be told Derek hated it also.

With a heavy sigh Derek caved.

"My uncle thought it was a good idea to test you by drugging you. There was absolutely no logic in his reasoning and god Stiles I'm so sorry on behalf of him. Anything could have happened to you and I put you in that position and god I hate myself for it I really fucking do…" And Derek was basically pleading now for Stiles' forgiveness.

And when did Derek start to beg?

"Derek look…there's something going on that you're not telling me and while everyone is entitled to their own secrets I'm going to have to know at some time. It doesn't have to be today and even if you don't trust me if my life is going to be in danger I need to know why. I would say you don't have to protect me but yeah you probably do because I'm all skin and bones and I relay on whit to get by so…" Stiles bit his bottom lip nervously and noticed Derek following his movements.

"That's fair Stiles it really is…I'm glad you're better now though and no longer trying to fly." Derek said allowing the warmth to feel his face again after seeing Stiles smile in return.

"That was so embarrassing, I can't believe I tried to get Isaac to suck my neck." Stiles groaned into his hands willing the blush to leave his cheeks.

"Yeah I'd advise for the safety of Isaac you never let that part happen again." Derek said sounding serious and Stiles found himself nodding along anyways.

"So your uncle drugged me huh? That's definitely a first and I'll try not to freak out about this later but I have to be honest, I just got knocked back about two steps." The nervous lip biting was back and before Derek could think he reached out and pulled Stiles' lip from his teeth letting rough hands linger for a second too long.

Derek swallowed and stood up.

"I should get to work but I promise Stiles…god forbid but if anything else happens I'll tell you myself." Derek said his voice a lot more rough than a moment ago.

Before Derek could walk out of the door to the loft he turned back around and looked at Stiles intently.

"Oh and Stiles? Next time you're sober and you ask me to touch you…I will." And just like that Stiles was left breathless on the couch as the man disappeared out of the front door. Stiles refused to leave from his bliss position even when Erica, and Laura came into the room and put make up on him since he was 'non responsive.'

For the first time in a while Stiles was happy again, he was 100% content with how his life was going but the doubts, worries, and fears were still lingering around the back of his mind waiting for their chance to get to the surface.


End file.
